and it stoned me.

I will start by saying the following, which is an undeniable, oft-declared truth: I am not a Justin Timberlake fan.

Never have been. Enjoyed the ‘Nsync days, tolerated Lance Bass, even, but that curly-haired co-lead singer (I refuse to identify Timberlake as the lead singer of that group, not when he shared those duties with the highly talented and frequently ignored JC Chasez; yes, I just italicized that word, and yes, I am getting on all crazy over who sang lead in a defunct 90s boy band) grated on my nerves from the very beginning, for reasons I’m not that inspired to investigate. I didn’t care for him then, and despite a few laughs during his hosting stints on SNL or hanging out with Jimmy Fallon, I don’t care for him now.

That said, I heard a song from his touted (sheesh, already) third album and it kind of turned me upside down with its lyrical and melodic goodness. So upside down that as I listened to it this morning on my Metro ride to work, I cried. I cried, you guys.

Ugh. Don’t tell anyone.

1. It’s because of this crush. I hear music about lurve and turn into mush.
2. It’s because when I hear the combination of interesting lyrics and melody, I am immediately enslaved.
3. It’s because four years ago when I turned 30, I became a cry-y, emotional basketcase. Songs, commercials, litter lying on the street–it doesn’t matter. I cry.
4. It’s because when he sings “you are the love of my life” over and over again, my heart thumps like crazy, and…see #1.
5. It’s because I believe that love should be like this, looking into the eyes of your beloved as if they were mirrors and having the love reflect back to you, and…and…see #1.

Anyway. My Monday confession. My insides hurt from having to post this. As I listen to the song for the third time today…

Lyrics:

Aren’t you somethin’ to admire
Cause your shine is somethin’ like a mirror
And I can’t help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I’m always
Parallel on the other side

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go
Just put your hand on the glass
I’m here tryin’ to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

I don’t wanna lose you now
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I’ll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin’ back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn’t get any bigger
With anyone else beside me
And now it’s clear as this promise
That we’re making
Two reflections into one
Cause it’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren’t you somethin’, an original
Cause it doesn’t seem really as simple
And I can’t help but stare, cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can’t ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I
Would look at us all the time

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go
Just put your hand on the glass
I’m here tryin’ to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

I don’t wanna lose you now
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I’ll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin’ back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn’t get any bigger
With anyone else beside me
And now it’s clear as this promise
That we’re making
Two reflections into one
Cause it’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow’s a mystery
I can see you lookin’ back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

I don’t wanna lose you now
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I’ll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin’ back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn’t get any bigger
With anyone else beside me
And now it’s clear as this promise
That we’re making
Two reflections into one
Cause it’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

You are, you are the love of my life [x10]

Baby, you’re the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it’s already gone
And I can’t wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are, you are the love of my life [x8]

Girl you’re my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You’re my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life [x16]

Dear Insane Woman:

On the heels of you almost murdering me this morning with your green Honda Accord, just wanted to make mention of the following:

• You saw the sour, oh-Lord-another-workday look on my face, I suppose? And wanted to put me out of my misery? Thanks, but no, thanks. Running me over with your car wouldn’t have accomplished, by any means, putting me out of my misery. Maybe a free wine cooler at a nice restaurant would have done that. Not a hit-and-run. (You so would’ve hit and run, lady. We both know this.)
• Couldn’t you have waited a second or two for me to cross the street before pulling in? Your fender was thisclose to my ankles. Seriously. It would’ve taken 3 seconds, tops, for me to get across. I’m famous for walking incredibly slow and being allergic to any kind of rushing, but I do rush when cars are nearby. Promise.
• So you sped up. So you almost killed me. Did you get to work on time? No, you didn’t. Admit it: you were still late. And you’re still ridiculous. So nothing came out of this morning’s activities.
• You saw me turn around to cast a shocked, almost creamed glare in your rearview mirror. You saw it and you know what you did.
• Like photos of this guy, I made a mental impression of your car and your black coat and your circa 1986 haircut. And I will remember you.
• Thank you for reminding me that late DC drivers who are woefully dressed like any female supporting character from a mid 1980s movie will try to kill me, so I need to be doubly careful when walking to work in the morning.

Yours,

Still Alive, thank you very much.

p.s.: Watch your precious backs, friends and readers. There are shoulder pad wielding lunatics out there behind the wheel, aiming their vehicles toward your sweet ankles.

Feels Good…

I had a major cleaning of the room this past weekend. How cathartic. It’s so fresh and so clean, and so neat and well-put together. I love it. The old bed is going to be made every morning now, rather than subscribing to the 8th grade belief of why bother; the books and things are lined up in nice, pretty rows, the clothes now suspend from hangers (what a concept), instead of the weird system I had going, of which will remain a secret weird system. All things considered, I’m very content. The last phase of Project Clean-Up will be the heartwrenching task of deciding what shoes to keep and what shoes to give away to the thrift stores. Sigh. Tears may be shed. I love all my shoes, even the ones that kill my poor toes. We shall see. I don’t intend on being too sentimental, though. If I can trash college mementos and things of that nature, then shoes and other things can surely go.

It rained yesterday, it’s raining today. I won’t complain. Whatever. If they find me on the interstate, in the middle of a nice, long nervous breakdown, blame it on the rain.

Onwards and upwards…