got a cloud sleeping on my tongue.

26 Feb

Oh, life.

Things have been interesting lately. Recall that I said I would visit my Kitten Heel Home every once in a while? Well, here I am, to update you on things in my little world. And really, I could never seriously leave my Kitten Heel Marvel. Not in a million years. She’s just become the slightly red-headed (maybe brunette) stepchild to my Tumblr.

Anyway, back to life, back to reality. Yeah, things have been interesting. For one thing, I’ve been writing like crazy. Seriously, perhaps the permanent vacation I thought my Muse was on is finally over. Inspiration has been seeping from the walls, the ceilings, everywhere. And–drumrolls, if you please–I just completed my latest short story. What? Yes! Amid the ten stories I’m currently and crazily writing at the same time, I actually sat on the couch last month and wrote this particular story longhand (haven’t done since antiquity) and finished it in one day. I have no idea what was going on. It was either a psychotic break or my Muse took some uppers and danced around in my head. Nevertheless, I am so proud of this stinkin’ story. It’s untimately a complex but feel good yarn about the responsibilities of family, love, and spider webs. Curious?

What else else? I’m working. This is a good thing. The few pesos they bequeath upon me allow for the payment of bills and the purchase of extra coins for the online Family Feud game that I’m currently obsessed with enjoying. I will say, however, that it’s time for a change. The job hunt must commence. There are a few goals I have in mind, i.e., a new apartment, traveling, that will require a little more in the salary department. I don’t need Trump figures, but an improvement would be nice. Add to the fact that being an Admin has so run its course for me, it’s time for a change.

What else else else? Oh. I have this crush.

What?

I’ll try to explain.

Have you heard *Cloud on my Tongue by my truest love, Tori Amos?

Tori. Sigh.

Tori. Sigh.

(Are you, dear reader, a Tori fan? Please become one. Listen to her songs and weep and get lost in lyrics that will stupefy and confuse and thrill you. I’ve been musically stalking her since I was 15 years old.) In this song, one of my absolute favorites by Ms. Amos, she refers to said cloud, how “it goes”, and “he goes”, and “you’re already in there, I’ll be wearing your tattoo…” For me, the entire thing just signifies the entering and staying of someone who blankets your senses, your cells, your everything. (And this is my interpretation of it; another listener will interpret it differently, because that’s the essence of Tori’s songwriting abilities; it means something different to each listener.) Since I relate music to all of life, this song reminds me of how I’m feeling these days with this crush of mine. But only in certain ways. It’s atypical, this crush. (Kindly refresh your memory on what crushes usually are for me.) For one thing, yes, “he’s in there”, as Tori sings, and I’m going in a few “circles”, but I’m not really losing it. This is the quietest I’ve ever been about someone. I don’t even want to call it a crush. It’s a cloud. Light but heavy, in my head but above my head. You know? For another thing, precisely two people know his identity. Notable because my usual modus operandi is to inform you, your mother, and your grandmother about the latest superficial stealing of my heart, but not so, this time. This time, it’s…I don’t know. It’s different. Again, quiet. I thought I was “over the bridge now”, in the sense of being done with these things, but I’m not really even complaining about this one. I just like him. I just do. End scene. We’ll talk about that later. Was this a flimsy excuse to quote lines from one of my favorite songs by Tori Amos? Maybe. But the song seems viable now, for a few reasons. Ok, finit, for now.

*Lyrics

Someone’s knockin on my kitchen door
Leave the wood outside
What all the girls here are freezing cold
Leave me with your Borneo
I don’t need much to keep me warm

Don’t stop now what you’re doin
What you’re goin my ugly one
Bring them all here
Hard to hid a hundred girls in your hair
It won’t be fair if I hate her
If I ate her you can go now

You’re already in there
I’ll be wearing your tatoo
You’re already in there

Got a cloud sleeping on my tongue
He goes then it goes and kiss the violets
As they’re waking up

Leave me with your Borneo
Leave me the way I was before

You’re already in there
I’ll be wearing your tatoo
I’m already in
Circles and circles and circles again
The girl’s in

Someone’s knockin on my kitchen door
Leave the wood outside
What all the girls here are freezing cold

You can go now

You’re already in there
I’ll be wearing you tatoo
You’re already in there
Thought I was over the bridge now
I’m already in
Circles and circles and circles again
The girl’s in
Circles and circles
Got to stop spinning
Circles and circles and circles again
Thought I was over the bridge now

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4 Responses to “got a cloud sleeping on my tongue.”

  1. Along Comes Mary March 10, 2013 at 8:09 am #

    1 of my most favorites from her. For me, its about the guy (whom mind you I still know a bit & pine for….grr…) I had my first time with. ‘Hard to hide 100 girls’ makes me think of his past; hes a player. ‘I’ll be wearing your tattoo’, reminds me if his ink, & what he left on ME, on MY heart. ‘Leave me the way I was before’, signifies when I wish he hadn’t been my first, it caused me so much depression & sadness that it was just a fling. ‘Thought I was over the bridge now’ is all the times I thought I was over it, but no.
    (LOL long comment, but I love to talk Tori!)

  2. Monday Girl March 15, 2013 at 7:02 pm #

    Tori talk inspires long comments! It’s all good! Thanks for sharing.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. and it stoned me. | Kitten Heel Marvel - March 18, 2013

    […] because of this crush. I hear music about lurve and turn into […]

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    […] last thing going on in my life is a bit beyond bullets and a quick summary. You remember this. Well, things got kind of interesting. As in the quiet, almost nonchalant way I was approaching my […]

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