Do Geniuses Get Better Parking?

I can’t cut a straight line to save my life. Yes, in the thrilling world of administrative assistance, there are times when projects require a return to 6th grade and using scissors and construction paper. And just like it was back then–I aim for consistency–I have zero ability to cut a simple, straight line. I read somewhere that my inability to do the latter means I think outside the box. Which, in my little world, according to solely me, might also mean that I’m a genius.

Let’s investigate further, shall we?

• Filling in those circles for standardized tests and questionnaires? Like this?  My pencil/pen goes so far outside the line that I’m invariably answering the next question without realizing it. Clearly genius.

 

• Um… I try to stay in these “lines.” I do. But someone has to change CDs and apply makeup and pretend not to stare at the Brad Pitt lookalike in the next lane, right? Sometimes the car drifts. I’ll work on it. But so clearly genius!

 

•  It’s a page from a coloring book. I was coloring with my friend’s 3 year-old daughter, and–let’s just say I was so far outside of the lines that the 3 year-old shook her head and gazed at me sadly. Along with her mother. SO, SO clearly genius.

And, incidentally, I’ve tried using the following…

 

…but something it makes me feel as if I’m operating a guillotine. Am I the only one who feels that way? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?